NEGOTIATION should often be tried before a court action is started. If it is hard for spouses to negotiate with each other without help because of high conflict or communication problems between them, their lawyers can advise them about the law and help them to negotiation a settlement. This can take place in one of the lawyer’s offices, or by videoconferencing, involving both spouses and their lawyers. Usually the most effective method of negotiation is termed “interest based negotiation” as opposed to “positional based negotiation”. Interest based negotiation means that the negotiators are thinking about what best serves the interests of both parties, and not just one. This is particularly important in family situations where parents need to have an ongoing relationship so they can continue to parent children. A positional based negotiation means that the negotiators are only thinking about their own needs. This type of negotiation often alienates parents from each other causing added problems.